So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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