Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
