Soap is not a condiment
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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