I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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