Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
