Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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