I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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