god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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