Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i out mim tonsoeep
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
