I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
