I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
