I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
