im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
