My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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