Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
