Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize