Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
