Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
