apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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