Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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