I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
