i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
True strength comes from lack of pants
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
