I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
