I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
