i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
