He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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