I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
