Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
