if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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