Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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