You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
