You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Every concussion has its silver lining
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize