Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
