i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
