i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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