when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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