I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you never un-have a 4some
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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