that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
