My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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