My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
