this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
