Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize