I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
