Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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