I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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