and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
