hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
