zippers are such a cool invention
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
