There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
