I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
