Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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