I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
