She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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