i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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