So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
