Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
