I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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