I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize