I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
