went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she looked like the before picture.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
