Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
