Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
