Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
no, he came in my armpit
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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