apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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